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	Depression at Christmas
	Survey on Depression at Christmas shows quite clearly what many of us have long suspected - that Christmas is difficult for vast numbers of people. It is a particular problem for depressed adults, who often feel worse as the festive season gets underway. Over 45 per cent of those who responded said that they dread the festive season. Interestingly, New Year doesn't fare any better than Christmas. The results of the survey show that many people find coping with Hogmanay and all the supposed jollification equally difficult. In fact 43 per cent of respondents said that they did not like New Year 'at all'.  And when asked: 'If you're already depressed, does Christmas tend to make it worse?' more than 57 per cent replied that it often or always does.  What about isolation? Many adults do face Christmas alone. But also many individuals feel 'isolated' even if they are with friends or family, so perhaps it's not surprising that almost 60 per cent of people said that Christmas leaves them feeling more isolated. In fact, well over a quarter of respondents said that in an ideal world, they would definitely like to fall asleep on 23 December and not wake up till 2 January.  Why is Christmas so difficult for so many people? Part of it is obviously about changes in traditions. We are now a richly multicultural society and many people - over 50 per cent - feel that for that reason, Christmas should be toned down quite a lot.  Other dislikes are to do with how you spend it - and who with.  More than 28 per cent said that if they had limitless funds and no sense of guilt they would jet away to a place where Christmas is barely mentioned. However, some 22 per cent said that they would thoroughly enjoy Christmas, with all the trimmings, in a lovely hotel in this country, because they would have no responsibility for the atmosphere, cooking, and timetable of the day.  Contrary to how people would like to spend it, more than 70 per cent say they will have Christmas with their families.  Reasons The reasons for people disliking Christmas are varied. Top hates are: Christmas has become too commercial. a feeling that everyone is having a better time than you.  spending far too much money. Other dislikes are: eating too much  Christmas parties  it makes you miserable. Many comments from depressed people show just how Christmas seems to add to their woes.  'I'm depressed at the moment and it just adds to the hopelessness' said one user of the Depression Community.  Another said: 'It's meant to have a religious meaning for me, so I feel guilty for dreading the whole thing - and this makes me feel even worse.'  And many individuals who have an eating disorder are particularly worried about managing food over Christmas.  Loss Sadly, for many people, Christmas reminds them of some terrible loss: a father who died at Christmas, a love affair that ended, or a child lost to cot death. Clearly when these anniversaries coincide with Christmas, there is little prospect of the festive season bringing uncomplicated and undiluted joy.  There's another sense of loss involving huge numbers of people these days. It is when their relationship has failed and their children are spending Christmas with the ex-partner. This is a modern phenomenon and it has changed the face of the traditional, family Christmas for hundreds of thousands of people.  So, if you're dreading Christmas, how can you best get through it? Remember it's just a day - another day - not shorter and not longer than any other.  You don't have to celebrate it. If you're depressed, newly bereaved, newly dumped, or a parent without your children, there's no rule in the universe that says you have to celebrate Christmas. So if you'd sooner sleep for the day, or paint your front room, or clean out your cupboards, or eat curry... whatever... just go ahead and do it.  Don't drink too much - especially if you're on medication.  Try to soothe your soul. Many respondents bemoaned the loss of the real meaning of Christmas. Even if you have no Christian beliefs, a visit to a darkened cathedral to hear Carols being sung, or even just lighting a candle in your own home and thinking about your wishes for a better world may help you far more than riotous festivities.  Remember the Samaritans work all over Christmas so there's always a listening ear at the other end of a phone - you can call them on 08457 90 90 90.  If family - or lack of family - gets you down, try to spend time with genuine friends. The chances are that they too have issues about Christmas and would like the chance to get together with you. SMART goals Finally, if New Year is a really bad time - as it appears to be for a large number of respondents to the survey - the chances are that much of your disquiet is about your life in general, and about the fact that you may not achieved any real difference in it since the chimes at midnight last year.  It may be too late to change your life before this coming New Year, but it's certainly not too late to change it substantially before New Year.  So you could use some of the festive period to draw up a list of goals to accomplish in the current year.  To do this, think SMART! SMART is a useful acronym to help you make goals that are possible and desirable. S stands for 'simple and specific'. M stands for 'measurable'. A stands for 'achievable'. R stands for 'realistic'. T stands for 'true-to-your real wants'. So, don't make a goal that goes - 'I want to be a generally more confident person'. This is too vague and too big. Start with something simple and specific like: 'I want to join an assertiveness class and learn to improve my skills in dealing with people.'  And don't decide you're going to run the London Marathon in April, if you've never even run round the block! Instead choose to join a health club.  And for heaven's sake, don't decide to give up smoking if you really, really don't want to. (Even though it would be great for your health if you did.) Go for something achievable instead. Unless you want to do something more than you don't want to do it, you'll never achieve your goal.